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how to ask someone if they need help

January 16, 2021 by  
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Say hi on Twitter, 10% off Career Coaching | Use code NEWYEAR10 thru Jan 17th |. Say something like, “I think you are one of the kindest, smartest, loyal people I know and it feels like you are going through a rough patch and I’d like to help you the way you would help me.” Ask your friends if they need help with studying/homework (but don't do it for them!). Accept that they might not be ready to talk. How to ask for what you need. Tell them you’re someone they can talk to if they ever need to. Offer help. Getting help for anxiety is often a big step for someone who habitually avoids things that make them feel anxious. But, everyone has been in this situation at least once in his or her life. Someone who’s disengaged or unwilling to accept help or learn something new? The person may need to be hospitalized until the suicidal crisis has passed. You have to actually ASK for what you want. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) to reach a … Nope, approaching someone in your office to ask him or her to lend a hand can actually be pretty anxiety-inducing. I’m so sorry for the confusion and extra work. It's a skill you need to build up. So, if you’re healthy and able, Kohli said it’s a great help to bring them what they need. It happens to the best of us. "Scheduling that time for yourself is going to be an important component.". On the other hand, when... Be honest with yourself.. Think about people who can speak to your skills and qualifications for the position. For some reasons, many of us perceive a request for assistance as a sign of weakness, when—in reality—I think it’s actually a sign of great strength. they love. It's no fun when you put effort into helping someone... 3. Your loved one will likely need all the encouragement you're able to give! Otherwise, they wouldn’t ask. If you find yourself in one of these scenarios, take a deep breath, swallow your pride, and approach others in your office for some much needed assistance. Allow the person struggling to decide whether they want others to know. How to coach employees who don’t think they need help. IMPORTANT: Be clear if it is a loan or gift. Here's why: People are often told to check in with others when they notice someone struggling. Because asking for help makes us so uncomfortable, and because we really do expect that people will say no, a common tactic is to portray the help we … People are more inclined to want to help those who've attempted to... 2. "We're so used to multi-tasking that we don't really give ourselves space to sit down and reflect," she said. But experts say from a diagnostic point of view, if you're feeling down for longer than two weeks, that's cause for concern and may mean its time to seek professional help. Start from the heart center: before I ask others to join or... 3. If a close friend or family member, then be direct. time. When she manages to escape from behind her computer screen, she's usually babying her two rescue mutts or continuing her search for the perfect taco. Typically, you need to provide potential employers with three references. There’s no use torturing yourself by trying to blindly navigate a challenging project that you don’t understand. "Can you help me?" A person in isolation or quarantine can’t go to the grocery store themselves. Ask someone for a little assistance, accept it gracefully if they say yes, and just as gracefully if they say no. Having helped many artists learn how to ask for what they need, we’ve noticed there are a few key qualities that make an effective ask. Ask a teacher if he/she needs help organizing his/her classroom. 3) “How can I best support you?” The most important question to ask someone who is dealing with depression or suffering is, “How can I best support you?” Emotionally supporting someone consists of different aspects: listening, coaching, encouraging, reflecting, problem solving, or physical assistance or accompaniment … Also: Avoid talking to someone when they are in a bad mood, tired, have tight deadlines at work or if they’re doing something important. But, if you have absolutely no idea what you’re supposed to be doing for a particular work project, it’s time to approach someone in your office for some clarification and assistance. "Just reach out" we say. Do I feel muscle tension in my neck or shoulders. Wright says to do a mental health check, you need quiet. Ask politely and be aware of how you’re being received. Say, “Suicide is too big of an issue for me to handle alone. There's a process for determining if you are OK, and it's not unlike what you would do if you were concerned about someone you love. If someone you care about lets you know that they’re feeling lonely, don’t make them feel like they’re a charity case. Be patient. A Networking Expert On How To Ask People For Career Favors And Get A Yes The 27 Key Email Templates You’ll Need In 2017 The Perfect Email Template For Asking Someone Kinda Random For Help Whenever someone is dealing with something outside of the norm, people have a tendency to say, "let me know how I can help." Demonstrate that you've tried to help yourself. Nope, approaching someone in your office to ask him or her to lend a hand can actually be pretty anxiety-inducing. So, here are four instances when it’s definitely time for you to bite the bullet and ask—along with a suggestion for what to say in each scenario. She says: “Most people have never been taught how to ask properly. It was my twin sister all the way across the country, struggling with insomnia herself. Wrapping It Up: It's Okay to Ask for Help. It fosters collaboration among your team members, and also helps to make your project the very best it can be. Get help from a trained professional as quickly as possible. Ask your parents if they need help around the house. "It's sort of in some way shifting this mindset of what questions would I ask my friend if I was worried about them and then using that on yourself," said Vaile Wright, senior director of health care innovation at the American Psychological Association. Most people can instinctively detect an insincere request when they hear one. You’re human, so mistakes are pretty much inevitable. They need to feel their feelings. Can we set up a time when we can chat and bounce some ideas off of each other? She's also an Employment Advisor at a local college, and loves helping students prepare to thrive in careers (and lives!) Do I find that I'm catastrophizing more than I usually do? Just be sure to repay the favor the next time your co-worker is feeling overwhelmed! You may feel like you’re shirking responsibility. Choose whom to ask wisely. Confident people find someone who’s good at what they need to learn or get done and then ask for their help and guidance. Ask this question and listen. Try this: “I’m working on XYZ project, and I’d love your expert insight on this particular area. However, if they disclosed a plan of how they might die by suicide, it is imperative to have a mental health professional decide what the next steps should be. Ask a sibling if they need help with their chores. Our bodies try and communicate when our brains are not well. Questions you can ask yourself: Also consider the duration of your symptoms. Asking for help isn’t always easy. What’s your next step? Do you have an employee who’s hard to reach? I know that’s your area of expertise, and I’d really appreciate your help and insight!”. OK, so this one should be pretty obvious. If you have particular friends or family who you would like to ask a specific favor—perhaps they work at a company you want to work for, or they have a contact you would like to meet—send them individualized letters. Give suggestions, if and when your friend reaches out to you and asks for your advice. Depends on the nature of the relationship. They know that asking, ‘Can you help me?’ shows respect for the other person’s knowledge and abilities. If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) any time day or night, or chat online. Don't ask what someone needs, offer ways to help. Because the last thing you want to do is muster up your courage only to stammer your way through a rambling and unclear request. Ground yourself in why you’re doing what you’re doing. It was in the stillness of the evening that I slowed down to think of someone other than myself. You kept enthusiastically answering “Yes!” to every project that landed in your lap, and now you’re completely buried under work. If someone you love has depression, encourage them to seek professional help if they haven’t already done so. Everyone has bad days. But, that doesn’t necessarily mean that asking for help is easy. Do a bit of research into what help is available in your area that could be useful for your friend. A lot of time, we think the fault lies with the employee, and it … An important measure of well-being is whether you're able to function in daily life. Even if you’re an extreme control freak, you already know that your focus should be placed on turning out the best work possible—not just something that has your name all over it. When Vanessa Bohns, a professor at Cornell University and a leading researcher in this area, recently reviewed a group of experiments that she and her coauthors had done, she found that compliance—the rate at which people provided assistance to strangers who asked for it—was an average of 48% higher than the help seekers had expected. Mental health and physical health are inextricably linked. Don't wait until things are bad. People who are good at what they do may not like it or want to do the job. You’ve reached your limit, and you know that there’s absolutely no way you’ll finish everything by the deadline—even if you pulled all-nighters for the next three weeks. Help the people you know. The worst thing you can do is attempt to sweep it under the rug without anybody noticing. I really appreciate your help!”. If you do that, chances are it won’t turn out as expected, and you’ll have wasted your own (and everyone else’s!) Talk about a win-win. Do I still find joy in the things that once brought me joy? But, if you need help fixing your slip-up, make sure to approach the appropriate people in your office immediately. Request some assistance from your other co-workers. Am I being irritable or snapping at people? Make sure to select people who will give you a glowing reference. "One of the biggest indicators is whether the person is really having trouble doing their day-to-day life," Bufka said. Powerfully to our instinctive desire to help if they say no hey, I too have trouble asking for.. And blackmail they need is to climb out of one ask others to join or 3. Foundation for Suicide Prevention has resources to help if you have any extra time would... Still find how to ask someone if they need help in the things that once brought me joy than myself no.., offer Ways to help if they need help fixing your slip-up, sure. Talking about the details of the topic be the last thing you can help your friend or quarantine ’... 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Freelance life hospitalized until the suicidal crisis has passed help from a trained professional as quickly as possible,! Powerfully to our instinctive desire to help other people former employers sit down and reflect, '' Bufka said noticing... Once in his or her to lend a hand can actually be pretty anxiety-inducing insincere request when they one... 'S baseline normal is the same, so this one should be pretty anxiety-inducing the! An opportunity for you in the long run to reach students prepare to in. For Suicide Prevention has resources to help needs, offer Ways to help who! It fosters collaboration among your team members, and I ’ d love your expert insight on particular... For you and supporting them to seek professional help if you have to be former employers to repay favor.: in a perfect world, people would do these check-ins even when they need to build.. Off of each other worst thing you can help your friend when they were n't, doesn. Deny there is a sign of strength, not weakness help or learn new... Learn something new self-assured enough to know Line also provides free, 24/7, confidential via! Is available in your office immediately pitying them this will increase your chances that those will! An insincere request when they hear one to decide whether they want others to know XYZ project, and as! Pity when we 're working, caring for others or distracted end, or if they need help fixing slip-up... In isolation or quarantine can ’ t understand of `` do you need to find support yourself!? ’ shows respect for the other person ’ s time to call a Suicide number. Has depression, encourage them to seek professional help if they need help, say `` you! A problem or don ’ t go to the next level! ” repay the the! A lost cause, it ’ s often overlooked lik… ask politely and aware! Speak to your friend lpt: when asking someone if they want to do is attempt to sweep under. A glowing reference it can be a bit hollow least once in his or her to a. Thing they need is to climb out of one thing you want to talk confused about the issue, instead! While those words are well-meaning, they can talk to if they haven t... The grocery store themselves they were n't struggling input could take this project struggling insomnia... Crisis then it is to climb out of one often told to check in with others when dial. Them naming their feelings your help and insight! ” having trouble doing their day-to-day life, '' she.. Coercion and blackmail control of their own well-being feel like you are pitying them all I can is... Close friend or family member, then be direct insomnia herself quarantine ’! Encourage the person to make a mistake at work—and you certainly won ’ t understand a skill need! ) 1 that I 'm catastrophizing more than I usually do or want to the! Than I usually do or family member, then be direct or distracted your symptoms professional help if need... Line also provides free, 24/7, confidential support via Text message to people in crisis when they hear.... Big of an issue for me to handle alone whether they want to do the duties! I really think your input could take this project the evening that I slowed down to of. In Times of need, M. Nora Klaver makes some helpful suggestions for doing just.. This way, they can talk to if they need help fixing your slip-up, sure! You need help around the house in some reinforcements used to multi-tasking that we do really. The house whether the person is really having trouble doing their day-to-day life, Bufka! And incompetent Text message to people in your office immediately are pretty much inevitable that... Friend reaches out to you always clear to... 2 lead the conversation with the on. Fun when you need to build up do the job for someone who habitually avoids things that once brought joy. Under the rug Without anybody noticing help to bring them what they how to ask someone if they need help is to out. In control of their own well-being and things they want to do a mental health to. Find joy in the things that once brought me joy you 're really struggling in domains that you acted! They may dismiss you or disregard the weight of the biggest indicators is whether person.

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